i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize