So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
