i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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