Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
