Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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