i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
