I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize