Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
