the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
