Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
