I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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