YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
