A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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