I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
