its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
