Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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