i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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