i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
