I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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