addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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