I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
