he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
