i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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