Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I still have a little drunk in my system
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize