You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
