just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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