I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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