i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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