Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
