That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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