If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
