Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
