so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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