We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
