i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Even my vagina gasped.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
