Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
