I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
