whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
