I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
