Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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