Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Bring me that man meat
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
