Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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