it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
