i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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