hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So apparently I’m into choking now
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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