Having a random hookup so left but love u
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
