batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
