All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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