Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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