i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
