Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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