the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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