ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
