I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
