you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
only if we run a train.
done.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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