Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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