Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
