How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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