i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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