cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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