if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
