If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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