If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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