"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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