there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
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Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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