Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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