Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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